Writings on the wall: Moment of Clarity

{plastic has covered this couch for over 20 years ..no lie}

  

My morning routine {outside of grooming} consists of prayer, finding an album to jam and TEA.

I'm usually a green tea gal but, sadly, I'm all out. 

I thought I'd have to submit to Lipton {the, bleh, black kind} this AM 

but to my surprise we had ginger Yogi Tea in the pantry ^.^ woop! 

{I'll take anything over black tea. It's way too bitter. & I'm not a sugar person.}

The ginger's actually really good though, and spicy. & I love how each tea bag comes with a quote. 

Today's bag said: 

to learn, read. to know, write. to master, teach.

I'm still in Virginia, retreating in my grandparent's Earthy abode, currently listening to American Gangster.

I've been here for about two months now and surprisingly it doesn't feel like Forever. 

I do miss my city though {like jones in my bones bad} but VA's been doing the damn thang as far as helping me to clear my mind. & I'm way more enthusiastic about creating, which is what I wanted most of all.

What's up for Memorial Weekend though??

Come out here! Lets hit the  B E A C H! :)

-xx

Writings on the wall: Rooftop Glows

Christened our lil roof thingy today. 

I was off from work, the weather's beautiful, and I'm always looking to do something fun & kooky, so...

Through that window is my grandmother's sewing room. my favorite part of the house.

It's where I go to write, drown in music, ...for pure silence. 

If I can't be found anywhere else, they know they'll find me there. 

It's been named "the cave". 

& now that I know that I won't fall to my death, that spot outside will see me and my laptop on many days. 

I forget sometime, that I'm not in New York. 

Sitting on your house, in bright prints and an afro is fairly common there. 

My VA neighbors seemed to not have been prepared for that. lol

The mail-man, however, loved it. 

Summer's procrastinating. 

-xx

This is what the end of my week looked like..

I went to Chelsea on Thursday and layed in the sun. 

..Discovered Cider Beer. <3 <3 can't believe no one told me about this.

& Friday, spent some time, checking out Keith Haring @ the Brooklyn Museum.

-xx

Writings on the wall: Cooking Raw, with the Brooklyn Bawse

I didn't get to go to SXSW but I did get to see my favorite person perform LIVE {in the comfort of my room} thanks to American Express & YouTube. :)

I even got dressed for it, lol.

{DIY tee made by me}

-xx

Writings on the wall: Born to be wild

Tierra Lee. 

Born again in '87. 

Wild & Free. 

As you can see, I bought a wig the other day. 

Though it seems random, it's actually been a thought of mine for a while. 

I think it started sometime last summer, when I wore a bob while modeling my co-workers collection.

At the time, I was sporting my turban and my mo-hawk was fiercely growing out so we didn't use the wig ..but the transformation was quite awakening. 

Not having hair makes it really easy to experiment with different looks and since I couldn't find anything that looked more natural than an afro ...that's what I went with. 

& I love it. 

I wore it out yesterday and I got soo much attention. It was crazy. 

I'm known for doing bold things to my hair ..and ppl would always come up to me with compliments when I had my mo-hawk but this was different. ..It was as if I was walking around with two heads. 

People wanted photos. People wanted to touch it. ...& the only thing I could do was laugh. 

It's not like I have length underneath & the fro was some type of add-on. I have NO HAIR. lmao

I kept thinking, "suppose I exchange numbers with a hot guy today ..because he loved my 'fro" 

& on our first date I wore my natural cut. ---COMEDY! He'd prob die!

 ...I know he would because if I were him, I would lol. 

(I'm still cute with my baldy but guys are so weird about hair lol).

*********************

Further along into my day, I met with my friend Nina to get some promo shots done for The Dressing Room ...a chic bar/boutique located in LES. 

..took this shot behind the scenes.

Lots of fun!

-xx

:: More photos will be posted on my Tumblr. ...check back soon for the link.

Writings on the wall: I call this shxt the calm

My plan to go view an apartment after work didn't quite work out, seeing as the person who listed the ad was a total flake. G R E A T. ...But whatever. No worries. What's mine is mine. 

& that right there was not. 

Can't say my night was wasted though. 

The temperature's mild, and New York's as illustrious as it always is. 

..Which a good friend and myself took total advantage of. 

It's now 12am, and though I should be sleeping, I'm up listening to Sade [..My mother from another] as it rains, and my blue candle flickers. 

No Ordinary Love was the first song to play on her YouTube video reel. 

It's trippy how it instantly changes my mood. 

It's sort of mystical and it mellows me. 

Kind of like the first sip of a glass of wine .. I like red.

Whether I'm boiling over with excitement, Anger, or good ole indifference 

..that first sip simmers me. 

-xx

*Clap Off*

Writings on the wall: Lunch Time Woes

It starts off like this: No Cash. Just Plastic. Limited Choices.

Usually when I'm in this predicament, Wacky Wock is the way to go.

The name sounds like a total joke but trust me, their food rocks socks. ...*side eye* Usually.

Of course, today would not be one of those days.

My Pan-Asian cusine consisted of pad thai noodles, shrimp, spinach and some "special sauce" ..with a side of Jasmine Green Tea for sips. ...all BLEH.

& when I thought I only had about 2 dollars in cash, which I planned to use for tips, ..guess who found a 5 dollar bill lurking in her pocket?!

I could've totally saved a load on my tum's insurance by switching to street meat.

-xx

Writings on the wall: & The Countdown Begins

Another year's ending, and for the first time in my life ..I'm nervous, just thinking about it.

2011 was a very eventful year for me. 2010 proved to be the beginning of my self discovery ..and the journey only seems to be continuing [as we would hope]. I guess the anxiety comes from not knowing what to expect, ..but knowing that it's going to be good. ..it's going to be hell. ..& at the end of that year, I'll be more of the person I was always meant to be. ..That's excitingly fxcking scary.

I'll be turning 25 next year [Jan.22 -woop!], so I had a pow-wow with myself to really figure out what it is that I want out of life. & how I plan to attain those things. ...I've not only decided but I've already begun to take action. & seeing my wishes begin to come true has to be the best thing in the world. ...I wanted a 2nd job so bad. However, I didn't expect to be working 7 days a week. [I was honestly aiming twd 6].

I thought I'd be half dead with no days off but I'm more alive than I was before. I love my 2nd job. I have great coworkers and there's leg room for growth. -- which is allllways a WIN.

[..wait, are people bragging about having two jobs these days? ..I mean, cuz I am! - I live in an economy where people can barely find one. I might need to have an "I have a 2nd job" party. ..it's that real lol]

I feel like confetti's going to fall out of the sky when the clock strikes 12.

& if so, I'll be the girl outside running around with her mouth open as if she's catching snow flakes.

I have alot to be thankful for. 2011 was fun, but it was rough. I had alot of down moments. Like in the dirt, DOWN. Broke, no money, DOWN. Dating was a shammm. L, after L. .. But I wasn't broken. & I'm not really sure what I went through that helped to make me so strong but I am one tough cookie. ...I did alot of crying though. Tough cookies cry too. ..& tough cookies believe in rainbows. & I've seen one after every storm. My rainbows were usually a situational change - from a negative to a positive. Some rainbows were people. Some were objects. Some were more spiritual.

So..2012 can't do ish to me but make me wiser.

My pocket's growing. Skin's bright. I smell good. Dress nice. & I have a heart made of gold.

#butyoudonthearmetho

-xx

Writings on the wall: Black Friday/Schmiday

Just wanted to pop in to complain about how much I don't want to go to work :( [job's great,but..] 

I feel gross today. ..Had a blast and a half for Thanksgiving and a chick needs to regroup. 

-xx

Writings on the wall: The Braidy Bunch

So I decided not to go with the hair in my face thingy that I spieled about. 

This made more sense for me anyway, seeing as though I've officially decided to grow out my 'hawk. 

My braids fall a bit below my waist. I love them. 

I just don't know how I feel about sitting in a chair for another 8 hours, when I need to take these out and do them again. ..That's a gig.  o_o

But beauty is pain. ..I guess. 

SN: I think everyone should have one of these light-weight Army jackets in their closet. 

It is definitely a FALL staple. I usually only see the vintage print, which is what prompted me to get this one. 

It's perfect for layering [which I can't wait to do. I cried for summer to stay now I'm crying for the temp to drop.]. It looks great dressed down and even cuter dressed up [maxi skirt/dress. It gives anything, extra girly, a tough/chic twist. .It's truthfully one of my favorite things right now. 

-xx

Style Stalker: KNIT Pic

Sunday, while at work, I was beckoned by the bloggers/photogs of weareyouneak.com

for a street style pic. :) 

They caught me, on my break, being nosey. 

There was a fashion show going on right next door to me and the outfits were simply drool-worthy. 

I couldn't help myself.

-xx

Writings on the wall: Rih-invent Yourself

So it's about that time again. ...I need a new look. A new hair-do.

or at least some versatility. 

I'm honestly not ready to completely do away with my turban - I love it way too much. 

& have even created Fall/Winter 'fits based around it. lol, it's serious. 

I have a few ideas of what I want to do but it's hard to decide seeing as though I reallly love 'em all. 

My mo-hawk is heavy on the move [growth wise]. 

My natural hair has this ombre thing going on so the majority of my hair is brown and the tips are honey blonde [from when I dyed my hair months back]. I love the ombre look and was thinking to add some extensions to the center of my mo-hawk so that I can actually style it and wear it out. 

I can do so now but it shrinks way too easily. [No Time!]

I'd probably do curly French buns and stuff. Leaving the front of the bun open so that the hair hangs in my face.  ...May have to do a lot of wash and go's to keep the sides springy because once I go to sleep, those curls are no more. [ahh the decisions! ...it's a headache but I loove transformations]

...This pic of rih's hair color and waves really inspired me. 

I want my center curls to be free and soft and in my face. Bouncy.

Extremely natural.

I'll discuss the other looks later. 

-xx

Writings on the wall: FNO! [..got the NO part right]

Tonight is Thee night! FNO! The biggest, baddest, best-est [if I may say that] way to kick off NYFW. 

It's the night of the Style Maven. The night of the Blogger. && it's here!! 

& where will I be? ...at work x_x [did your heart drop for me?]

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!

 These are the things that happen when you decide to do high-end retail. 

Everyone wants to participate! 

We'll be having a private event, which is cool, I guessss lol. 

There'll be a live band and booze ^.^

-____- but that still does not negate the fact that I will not get to see any of my favorite celebs as they traipse through the streets w|o a care. This doesn't happen often. [feel my pain]. 

& of course as a stylista, I want to see alllll of the creativity that you guys will put into your 'fits. 

Anyway, I'm just writing to say, if you hear the news about the girl who was found hanging by her turban..

well..., y'kno

-xx

Dear Diary | Day's Inn

So it's official. Summer's gone. Everyone's back in school. The temperature, today, is 66 degrees. 

& I'm sitting up in my bed, trying to convince myself to re-up on some sleep. 

My weekend was absolutely amazing and I'm beat. 

I planned to take a trip to Williamsburg today, for some shopping, but I can't do it to myself.

Tomorrow will be a new day of work and I prefer that my energy's on HIGH. 

Not to mention, it's raining. Me and rainy days go best together when I'm indoors, under some sheets with fluffy pillows, lots of junk food, and a movie. I want to see Love Jones. 

-xx

Style-Spiration | Grunge Plunge

I was just browsing through pics on the web, when I came across this one of an Olsen and decided that it'll be the inspiration for today's look. ..I got a pair of black selvedge denim yesterday that I need to break in because they're suuper raw! & I'm into her whole disheveled look : over-sized button down, tattered jeans, and chucks. It's Perfect.

-xx

Time's Flying && So Are We...

Time's flying. & so are we. 

Changing, rapidly. ..& forcefully, moving in the directions that are set out before us. 

All forks in the road are illusions. 

There are no good or bad lanes. Right or wrong turns.

Our life's scripts are written in a way that we always end up right where we belong.

Detours are not meant to deter us. ..but to condition us. 

Break us and Fix us.  ..Weaken and Strengthen. 

So consider yourself lucky if your journey's been lengthened.

Learn to love the distance. 

-xx

Dear Diary | Me, My City & Irene

Ms. Irene was angry. ...Thankfully not too angry with NY. 

The pic above actually happens to be of our city streets which is a surprise to my eyes. 

I definitely did not expect to see them flooded to this extent. 

Though I knew the possibility was pretty high. 

I got word from my job, on Friday, that we'd resume work on Monday so I began making preparations to spend a day or two @ my friend's house. The thought of being trapped in my room while the wind whipped trees back and forth wasn't the least bit enticing. ..I needed a different environment, bad! 

& it was great. 

There were 4 of us upstairs and about 3-4 downstairs [3 fam apartment]. 

We called this gathering "The Hurricane Irene Party" lol. [...Ny'ers take nothing serious. I know]. 

We went out on Friday. Danced. 

Woke up Saturday, & hit the market for some food, snacks and booze. 

Surprisingly, I cooked the entire time. 

Breakfast [french toast, eggs, home fries, and bacon].

& dinner [baked chicken with cream of mushroom sauce, velveeta shells, broccoli and rice]. 

..Breakfast has always been my specialty lol. 

On a regular day, I never cook. ...Though I know how. 

What amazed me, was the dinner. It's something I eat often, but have never made. ..&They loved it. 

They not only scoffed the food down, they had seconds! ..& still ate more the next afternoon lol. 

Makes me want to cook a lot often. ..For that reason, and because it's very therapeutic. 

I found myself in a realm of my own. 

Saturday night was a little rough for me, because I couldn't go to sleep. 

Twitter didn't work. Texting didn't work. ..but magically, around 5/6 ...I was out like a light.

The sound of the trees and rain were a bit scary. 

I kept thinking of the news reports re: falling trees, etc. ..In Brooklyn, there are huuge trees everywhere. Especially, where I was. 

& not only are they big, there's damn near a million of them in the backyard, right next to the window of the room I was sleeping in. 

I was surprised to see that there was absolutely 0 damage done, when I stepped outside the next day. 

Happy, but surprised. 

The thought alone of any kind of natural disaster tearing the city apart is heartbreaking. 

-xx

My Fave Things | Cosmopolitan Girls

One of my most favorite things has to be "Cosmopolitan Girls" by Charlotte Burley and Lyah Beth Leflore.

This novel has a unique way of lifting my spirits when I'm feeling a bit crappy. It's, at some point, sad - but for the most part, fun! & empowering. Its about two women who meet randomly at a bar after having not so good days. After sharing their stories over cosmos, they begin a friendship that anyone would want to be apart of. & it takes place in NYC :) 

I've given this book to many of my friends and everyone loves it. 

So I'm sharing it with you - because it really is a great read. 

& sometimes we need a little sisterly love. 

..which this is, in written form. 

-xx

Dear Diary | Who Gon' Stop Me!?

When I lost my job in July, everyone had sad faces. ..They felt bad. They wanted to help me out. Etc. 

I was grateful for their sympathy and extended hands but I honestly think they were more worried than I was. 

Ms. Optimistic. 

I read a quote once that said "When you lose something, it just means that someone else needs it more." I guess that helps with the sadness. Helps to keep the feeling of "unworthiness" at bay. ..The way I see it, we all get a piece. No one's ever without. So if someone else needs what I had MORE! ..I can't wait to see what's in store for me. & that's pretty much where my mind was for the entire month [and a day] that I was unemployed. ..I loved my job. It was easy. Super high-end. My co-workers were the best! ..I'm thinking to myself ..if it only gets better I might want to buckle up. :) 

..Because I had that place on my resume, I feel I was taken more serious when I applied for new jobs. No one really knew about the store but I had the required experience. 

I remember going on one interview, during my last few weeks there. I was then called back to meet with the store's owner. I was geeked! ..But when I didn't receive a call saying "you got the job!" I thought well ..another one bites the dust. I mean, I never expected my search to be easy. 

..So I went on another interview at a women's shoe store that I'd  been eyeing for a while. Loved the shoes. Hated the environment. I went in for a trial run and I just couldn't do it. Though I needed this gig like I need panties on a winter day, I refused to settle and lock myself into something I wasn't happy with. -- Not to mention the pay was pretty shabby in comparison to what I was making prior ..and not even close to what I expected to make [which was way more than before, of course.]

With this situation, I really just had to believe in myself and continue to have faith. I can't lie, I felt silly for a minute. I'd just been given a job and threw it away only after a day. Was I crazy? ..No. ...Convinced? Yea. 

I was convinced that I'd not only find better but that I deserved better. ..I cried some days because I hated my situation. There were so many things that needed to be done. Money wasn't promised. & the bit that I had laying around here wouldn't last forever. I had bills to pay. Moves to make. ...& all of that began to weigh down on me. ..Luckily I have really great people in my life who kept me uplifted when I could no longer do it alone. ...I took full advantage of the month that I had off. There was a lot of partying, picnics, naps on the beach, roof top events. I didn't allow myself to be controlled by what was going on. I lived.  & that moment when I completely let go. I received an email [from the place where I initially interviewed] which jolted me up from off of my bed and flooded my eyes with tears. They wanted me for the position. ;) I was excited!! ...& later that day I went in to meet with the Mgr. to discuss pay [which is pretty effin great btw]. Considering what I've already been doing, this gig is perfect for me. & I'm learning a lot. 

I also have a fit modeling gig which takes place during Fashion Week. I can't even sit still, thinking about it. Things are finally starting to make sense to me [& for me]. I felt stagnant for a while but the growth is eminent. I may very well be going places lol. 

I learned a good bit about myself during this time. A few things being, I'm a survivor. I have great friends. & I will not take any ole thing just for the sake of claiming it - that's a sure way to have an infinite amount of nothing. I am no longer that girl. 

I'm so very thankful! ..count your blessings!

-xx

Dear Diary | Young Hopeful

First off, I just have to say that I love TheDailyLove and I honestly read it EVERY DAY. Mastin Kipp, the site's CEO/Founder as well as the other Editors just seem to always have the words. & though I often find each post to be uplifting and inspiring - sometimes it's just plain ole scary. ..Because you begin to feel as if you're mind's being broken into. ..Like how could you have ever known that I needed this post, these words, right now!? ..I think it's a great thing though - sometimes the people around us aren't able to council us effectively. & it's possible that this site may not be able to do that for you. ..All I know is, it works for me and if you haven't read it before - you should definitely give it a few minutes of your time.

..Now, let's get into what we came here for:

I was on the site today and - as per usual- I came across a paragraph that spoke to me. Only because those are the words that I'd use right now had I been writing this post without an excerpt from another source. 

Mastin's words were: 


I have had more fear clusters show up in the last 90 days than I have in years before that. The more I walk along The Path, I am beginning to see a pattern. The pattern is that RIGHT BEFORE something AWESOME happens, all the sh*t seems to hit the fan. Right before any major shift in my life, things get a little crazy and there seems to be no way out. The reason why I am where I am has more to do with sitting through those moments and letting them pass than it does my writing talent or any other talent. I think my greatest talent is the ability to just sit with things a little longer and not run when things get weird and crazy.


You know what I think? ..I think we share a mutual talent. I don't know if I've always been this way, but at some point in my life I began to notice my way of coping with hardships and it goes much like this: Sit & Deal.     I call myself Young Hopeful ..because I always believe that something greater's in the making. ..Take my current situation for example. - I won't say - I cry, bxtch, and moan but it's only because I'm frustrated. If we were to get really technical, every thing that seems to be unfortunate has turned out to be more fortunate for me than a little bit. I haven't reaped great rewards but I'm witnessing the little ingredients being dropped into this grand pot for the making of a great soup. ..So I'll wait. 'cuz hell, ..I'm hungry! & I believe. 

-xx