Quoted: Mario Puzo {Fools Die}

But you're the toughest son of a bitch I've ever seen.

You never let anybody get near you. 

You never let anybody know what you really think.

-xx

Writings on the wall: Drink to the beat of your own drum

I sat in a bar where the drinks were cheap and it's patrons, cheaper. 

Dubstep in Virginia isn't like it is at home. The beats here aren't as high off coke as they are back in NY. 

o_o or maybe it's the DJs who aren't as high, :-\ #unsolvedmysteries. It's disappointing.

Last night, I heard a faint cry of my name through the electric yell of Skrillex & Nero's "Promises". 

Is it possible for music to pick up on your energy? 

I felt as if it recognized my spirit. 

As if it knew that I was the fist-pump hungry, Brooklyn girl who was dying to flail her arms.

It recognized me. Maybe even knew me and wanted to hug me ..but that never happened. 

So I took a shot of Cuervo, downed a Long Island Iced Tea and ran into the ocean. Fully Clothed.

Looked at my cousin, & said convincly,  "I'm Not Crazy". 

then I drove home. wet. covered in sand.

-xx

Writings on the wall: Moment of Clarity

{plastic has covered this couch for over 20 years ..no lie}

  

My morning routine {outside of grooming} consists of prayer, finding an album to jam and TEA.

I'm usually a green tea gal but, sadly, I'm all out. 

I thought I'd have to submit to Lipton {the, bleh, black kind} this AM 

but to my surprise we had ginger Yogi Tea in the pantry ^.^ woop! 

{I'll take anything over black tea. It's way too bitter. & I'm not a sugar person.}

The ginger's actually really good though, and spicy. & I love how each tea bag comes with a quote. 

Today's bag said: 

to learn, read. to know, write. to master, teach.

I'm still in Virginia, retreating in my grandparent's Earthy abode, currently listening to American Gangster.

I've been here for about two months now and surprisingly it doesn't feel like Forever. 

I do miss my city though {like jones in my bones bad} but VA's been doing the damn thang as far as helping me to clear my mind. & I'm way more enthusiastic about creating, which is what I wanted most of all.

What's up for Memorial Weekend though??

Come out here! Lets hit the  B E A C H! :)

-xx

Juke Box: ScHoolboy Q - Fantasy feat. Jhene Aiko

Click to play. 

-xx

&& I'm that bxtch so you better come get her!

Writings on the wall: Rooftop Glows

Christened our lil roof thingy today. 

I was off from work, the weather's beautiful, and I'm always looking to do something fun & kooky, so...

Through that window is my grandmother's sewing room. my favorite part of the house.

It's where I go to write, drown in music, ...for pure silence. 

If I can't be found anywhere else, they know they'll find me there. 

It's been named "the cave". 

& now that I know that I won't fall to my death, that spot outside will see me and my laptop on many days. 

I forget sometime, that I'm not in New York. 

Sitting on your house, in bright prints and an afro is fairly common there. 

My VA neighbors seemed to not have been prepared for that. lol

The mail-man, however, loved it. 

Summer's procrastinating. 

-xx

Turn My Fucking Amps Up!

-xx

"Loose Woman" by Sandra Cisneros

They say I’m a beast.

And feast on it. When all along

I thought that’s what a woman was.

They say I’m a bitch.

Or witch. I’ve claimed

the same and never winced.

They say I’m a macha, hell on wheels,

viva-la-vulva, fire and brimstone,

man-hating, devastating,

boogey-woman lesbian.

Not necessarily,

but I like the compliment. 

The mob arrives with stones and sticks

to maim and lame and do me in.

All the same, when I open my mouth,

they wobble like gin.

Diamonds and pearls

tumble from my tongue.

Or toads and serpents.

Depending on the mood I’m in.

I like the itch I provoke.

The rustle of rumor

like crinoline.

I am the woman of myth and bullshit.

(True. I authored some of it.)

I built my little house of ill repute.

Brick by brick. Labored,

love and masoned it.

I live like so.

Heart as sail, ballast, rudder, bow.

Rowdy. Indulgent to excess.

My sin and success—

I think of me to gluttony.

By all accounts I am

a danger to society.

I’m Pancha Villa.

I break laws,

upset the natural order,

anguish the Pope and make fathers cry.

I am beyond the jaw of law.

I’m la desperada, most-wanted public enemy.

My happy picture grinning from the wall. 

I strike terror among the men.

I can’t be bothered what they think.

¡Que se vayan a la ching chang chong!

For this, the cross, the calvary.

In other words, I’m anarchy.

I’m an aim-well,

shoot-sharp,

sharp-tongued,

sharp-thinking,

fast-speaking,

foot-loose,

loose-tongued,

let-loose,

woman-on-the-loose,

loose woman.

Beware, honey.

I’m Bitch. Beast. Macha.

¡Wáchale!

Ping! Ping! Ping!

I break things. 

-xx

Juke Box: Nicki Minaj - Champion feat. Nas, Drake and Jeezy

Click to play.

-xx

Writings on the wall: You wanna Tumble with the Bey, huh?

 ..Aunty Bey has opened a Tumblr account for all of us to see. 

Which makes for a very unproductive day. 

As I peek into her life, I am smitten by her refinement and beauty. 

...AND by her love for the one entertainer who I Love dearly.

Her photos show her living a life that many of us have only dreamed of or read about. 

It's a wondrous thing, to know that where you are presently, doesn't mark the end of your world. 

There's so much to be seen on this Earth. 

I remain hopeful ..knowing that it's brilliance wasn't bottled up and put aside solely for those who could afford it. ...but that it was bottled up and put aside solely for those who believe in the idea of there being MORE. ...for the seekers.

it is our duty, to find the beauty...

After the jump, you'll find more of my favorite photos from Beyonce.tumblr.com

-xx

I came in like a lamb...

But I intend to live like a LION.

-xx

Quote: Sade {Bullet Proof Soul}

This is what the end of my week looked like..

I went to Chelsea on Thursday and layed in the sun. 

..Discovered Cider Beer. <3 <3 can't believe no one told me about this.

& Friday, spent some time, checking out Keith Haring @ the Brooklyn Museum.

-xx

I like people with depth...

-xx

"..Had some problems before, but see, we let em go"

-xx

Quote: Kanye West

Quoted: Francesca Lia Block

She said, You cannot hide forever, though you may try. I’ve seen you in the kitchen, in the garden. I’ve seen the things you have sewn — curtains of dawn, twilight blankets and dresses for the sisters like a garden of stars. I have heard the stories you tell. You are the one who transforms, who creates. You can go out into the world and show others. They will feel less alone because of you, they will feel understood, unburdened by you, awakened by you, freed of guilt and shame and sorrow. But to share with them you must wear shoes you must go out you must not hide you must dance and it will be harder you must face jealousy and sometimes rage and desire and love which can hurt most of all because of what can then be taken away. So make that astral dress to fit your own body this time. And here are glass shoes made from your words, the stories you have told like a blower -with her torch forming the thinnest, most translucent sheets of light out of what was once sand. But be careful; sand is already broken but glass breaks. The shoes are for dancing, not for running away.

-xx

-I need her books. 

Writings on the wall: The Cold War

I've been asleep for hours.
Something I've been trying to accomplish for an entire week.
It seems it took for me to catch a cold {it's the real deal now} and have a miniature breakdown to lay down and take a day off. I had no phone for almost 24 hrs. Didn't miss it. ..Surprisingly. Because on a regular day, I can't stay off of it. .I didn't need it yesterday. Didn't want it. ..or anything for that matter. No computer, no Nothing.

It's currently 6:30am.
7am can't come fast enough.
I need a grocery store.
I need Nyquil, lemons and honey.
yukkkk @ Nyquil.
I have this annoying cough.
& I'm covered in Vicks VapoRub.
just sexy.

It's St. Patty's Day!
..are you wearing green? crushing green? ..getting drunk? o.O

*clears throat* I mean...just making conversation. Live a Clean Life. :)

-xx

Writings on the wall: When Wounded...

My birth name is Tierra.
& I'm a Feel-ist.

But Lately I've been feeling: Less.

-Closing myself off to others and to myself. I've been numb for months and I can't even begin to tell you why. I go out, smiling from ear to ear. I bubble over with laughter. & I'm screaming within.

You may see a pretty exterior. But I am not this face. I'm more.
or this body. I am more. & I like to believe that I am not of this earth.
That's debatable.

As many like to convince themselves that they have delved deep into my cosmos.
Debatable!
To that I grin a questioning grin.
A guarded grin.
...of disbelief.
...of you have not and you will not.
Not before I.
I'm getting there. 

I'm afraid of something.
& scarily, of nothing, all at once.

Walking with blind eyes.
Just walking.
Just doing shit.
Not talking.
Just hearing.
Barely listening with nearly deaf ears.

I can't consume us both.
Not now.
I can't take you in and try to swallow everything that is ME, simultaneously.
My plate is full and my utensils, meager.
I know this.
Yet I allow myself to be force fed lives upon lives.
I spend time.
Become a friend.
& then I wonder,
who's mine?

or why I don't cry.
{I haven't cried in months}
& that would make sense if I were truly happy.
But I'm not.

This must be what it's like when there's static in your soul.
& your body's electricity bill is due. ...but the money's funny.
Shit starts breaking. Nothing excites you anymore.
& you didn't pay the water bill so you can't even cry about it.

There's a disconnect.
It's time to be honest.

Time to depollute. Be selective. Protect. & Value.

I've shared time, space and energy.
I woke up today feeling spent.
Looking for purpose.

It's been a long time since I've truly given you Me. -me to myself.
& to you as well.

It's been a long time since I've written to be relieved.

..TBC

-xx

Quoted: Francesca Lia Block

What shall we do, all of us? All of passionate girls who fear crushing the boys we love with our mouths like caverns of teeth, our mushrooming brains, our watermelon hearts?

-xx

Writings on the wall: Cooking Raw, with the Brooklyn Bawse

I didn't get to go to SXSW but I did get to see my favorite person perform LIVE {in the comfort of my room} thanks to American Express & YouTube. :)

I even got dressed for it, lol.

{DIY tee made by me}

-xx

Quoted: CVMN

to catch a butterfly there's a distinct balance between the level of passive effort and designed refrain, to know when is the exact moment to gesture towards it slowly, to be allowed enough grace for it to want to shift from flower to your wrist.

-xx

Juke Box: Stacy Barthe - Without You ft. Frank Ocean

Click to Play.

-xx