I bought this book, after work today, titled "The Heart Aroused" by David Whyte.
I'm a mush in every sense of the word so I broke cardinal rule #1 and totally purchased it based on it's cover alone. It was the title that reeled me in. ...Then I looked down, saw 'poetry' and BAM. I'm sold.
But see, I've yet to lose with this one.
I'm only a few pages in and it's already proven to be very insightful. ..So much so that my kind soul thought it'd be cool to share the wealth. ..Of course with hopes that you too will find your lil thumper handsomely aroused. ;)
Chapter 1: The Path Begins
As we begin to think about our aloneness, where we fit in the world, why we are working where we are, the state of our soul and the direction we are headed, we join a long lineage of men and women who gave themselves over to the imagery of the poetic imagination to find out the selfsame thing. We begin to give those images life by speaking them aloud, however hesitantly. Questioning in a real way, we start, by all the lights of the poetic tradition, to awaken. ... But as we awaken, we take the first steps into the hall of grief and loss. Looking over the centuries of human struggle commemorated in poetry, a man or woman often seems to begin the journey to soul recovery in this very lonely place of self-assessment. The uninitiated might call it depression.
When all things we want beyond our reach move slowly within our reach, it is easy to feel good about life. But if our sense of well-being becomes dependent on the constant delivery of goods to our door, we experience a sense of loss when the supply suddenly dries up, or we no longer perceive it has the same value. At this point we are thrown back on ourselves and must live on what we find there. In a way we are finally forced to rely on the one thing already within the compass of our grasp---our soul's natural entanglement in the world. This entanglement is often perceived for the first time through a sense of loss. It is as if we first stumble into our belonging by realizing how desperately out of place we feel. This sense of loss has a natural way of drawing us inside ourself. We might at first label the body's simple need to focus inward depression. But as we practice going inward, we come to realize that much of it is not depression in the least; it is a cry for something else, often the physical body's simple need for rest, for contemplation, and for a kind of forgotten courage, one difficult to hear demanding ... another life.
It seems that to find the real path we have to go off the path we are on now, even for an instant, and earn the privilege of losing our way. As the path fades, we are forced to take a good look at the life in which we actually find ourselves.
**************
Through this excerpt, I garnered an understanding for where I currently stand in life. It speaks about loss and in many ways I find myself losing. ..However, victoriously. < Interesting.
But there's no parade. No floats. Balloons. or Face Painting.
& to few I divulge.
Instead I find myself writing. Mentally, more than anything because for some reason I can't figure out a way to give life to a real pen. Thoughts enter my head so fast that it becomes difficult to make sense of them all [when I try to physically make notes of them - so I don't]. I think. I think. & I read. I write poetry. & with all that's going on up there ...I find myself wanting more out of those that I surround myself with. ..Yes. I am going through a self-assessment phase and yes that includes taking inventory. & Yes. that does mean that I find myself unsatisfied with certain stock. ..& Yes. for the longest I have held certain stock for the sake of holding it because Yes. the thought of packing it up and sending it on made me feel horrible [I felt mean] but *knock knock* I've come to find that when others get karate savvy ..it's 'no chairs spared'.
[see: Jay-Z's "Dig A Hole"]
I'm learning [the hard way] the pros and cons of compromising when it comes to the quality of life. My Life.
My heart is still BIG but the beat's different. That's all.
Grief and Loss. ..I wouldn't call us cool but I've met them.
They may have knocked me on my a** and helped me up but I don't owe them no real favors.
*looks in the mirror* but that girl, ..I owe her Everything.
I understand that I am not perfect and I don't have a desire to be.
There's simply no way that I can stay in the same mix if the cake's not rising.
-xx
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