Monday, November 9, 2009

..WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Seriously speaking. What drives you?
We're all living with hopes of obtaining something...so for what reason are you extending your hands?
...
...I watched The Women today, a few minutes ago actually, and Meg Ryan's character happened to be dealing with an affair that her husband was having with another woman. She was without a doubt devastated, filed for divorce and like most ppl who go through such a drastic change - she was lost. ..She didn't know what her next move was going to be, everyday was just another day. That is, until she went to a retreat and met this woman who asked "What do you want?".
..Those four simple words provoked her to find herself and take notice to her desires. She always wanted to design and she became a designer. She was happy, content rather.
...
I find myself wondering about my path everyday. Sometimes I feel as if I'm going through a depression because I get so worked up about it. I'm the type of person who always wants the answer right then and there but sometimes, you need to ask yourself small questions, find those answers and they'll aid you in solving the bigger equation.
...
What do I want? Without hesitation or a blink of an eye, I'll tell you 'I want to be a Stylist'. It's the getting there that seems to give me the biggest headache. I'm not in school right now and some of the best internships require you to be enrolled. Every time I see "STUDENTS ONLY" I want to pull my hair out and set my scalp on fire [lol]. ..But I know that cannot be the only way. ..So I know what I want, cool. I have an idea of how to obtain it. Now the next step is finding another route. I cannot sit and wait to be enrolled, that's simply not going to work. I need this like yesterday. I'm aware that I'm not going to be a Stylist over night, I'm yearning to learn! I need the experience.
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Meg went out and took pictures of things, to gain inspiration and I thought that was a wonderful idea. She'd flick the most random things. So, I think that maybe I should do things that I love to sort of get my mind racing. You know, get my creative juices flowing, without taking away from my focus. Polyvore does that, but it doesn't have much of an outlet. It bonds me to my computer, which is in my house, away from the world lol.
...
lightbulb: & seeing as though I keep making these direct/indirect references toward me getting out of my house and interacting with "the world", I think I should actually start doing that. I mean, don't get me wrong, I step out - but even when I'm out, I'm in my own world.
..WHAT DO I WANT?
career wise, I have that anwered. ...but that's not even half of what Life has to offer. .The rest? ...now that's something to scratch my head about.
*scratches head*

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